Some People Shouldn’t Own Guns, March 2017 Edition

So there I was at Williams-Sonoma, looking at copper serving trays marked with warnings not to actually use them for serving while my girlfriend shopped for magic sponges and $15/lb candy. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a fat man in a bright chartreuse shirt barged in between us to look at something on a shelf – not very politely, I might add. I immediately noticed that 1) the back of his shirt read “!WARNING! I SHOT THE LAST TAILGATER!” and 2) he was open carrying a Glock 19/23 in a Safariland duty holster. I took a photo, but he was moving, so the image didn’t capture his shirt and his gun at the same time.

I followed him over to the customer service island where he asked an employee for another employee that he had spoken to previously, describing her in oddly specific detail (as this was happening, I was moving behind a very impressive kitchen knife display to a point about three yards behind him, and not once did he notice that I was following him so closely). When informed that she wasn’t there and that any employee could assist him, he said in an agitated tone, “oh, I know. I have a message for her.”

As he said this rather mysterious phrase, his hand dropped to his Glock with his thumb ready to disengage the holster’s retention, right as I took a photo.

He might have shot the last tailgater, but he didn’t notice me.

If he said anything else, I didn’t notice, because I was focused on his right thumb. But then his hand came off the gun, and I stopped thinking, “I’ll need to aim at his lower back so there’s less chance of hitting any of the Williams-Sonoma employees on the other side of the counter.” I did not draw or move to draw my pistol.

Thankfully, his bizarre behavior ended as soon as it started. He poured himself a cup of water from the complimentary Williams Sonoma water pitcher – sadly, they didn’t have any complimentary Williams-Sonoma candy out that day – and walked out of the store, having a conversation on what I hope was a wired headset, otherwise he was just talking to himself.

Was there a perfectly innocent meaning to all of this? Maybe. But he didn’t know the employee’s name, so it’s not like he was her adorably awkward uncle and just wanted to show her his new gun while he was at work. The other employees were left talking about how that guy was crazy, but they knew there were sane gun owners out there. ¬†Frankly, I was impressed with how nonchalant they were – but I don’t think they saw him put his hand on the pistol. They weren’t interested in calling mall security, but I later contacted local law enforcement.

This is why we can’t have nice things. This is why CCW reciprocity is a hard sell. This is why gun people get a bad reputation. And some people shouldn’t own guns.

30 thoughts on “Some People Shouldn’t Own Guns, March 2017 Edition”

  1. Du-u-ude…way harsh. He was probably exorcising his 2A thing or maybe he just needs to have his meds tweaked or get a hug. Me? I don’t open carry and if I did it wouldn’t be in a chartreuse Tee shirt. It’d draw away attention from my gun metal gray eyes and curled lip…my two best features in staring down a retail sales prole.

  2. How about the guy i just saw in avondale open carrying a 1911 with basketball shorts and a ridiculous extended magazine. Gun almost fell out while he was looking at flowers and he had to fumble with it. Looked like he had a $10 holster. Looking back i kinda regret not calling the police but what could they have done other than tell him it’s a bad idea.

  3. I know, I know…open carry is legal in any number of places. There is, however, a certain appearance of threat involved, either deliberate or unintended. It may be meant as PR for our Second Amendment rights…but is it always good PR?

    1. No there isn’t. Sorry no one would think I am a threat if I open carried. For some open carry is a better option. If you are disabled Consealed Carry can be problematic.

  4. William Sanoma robes their customers with every purchase. Maybe he saw a price tag on something? But yeah… I would never open carry. Not in a million years. No one should know my business.

    1. I’ve never gotten a robe there!

      (Also, as a chef you get a 20% discount there.

      They’re competitive on lots of prices* even without that…

      * I couldn’t significantly beat them on a Vitamix or on All-Clad last I checked.)

  5. Andrew we have all seen things like that. And it makes me ill. Yes there are people who should not own guns and it is unfortunate that we are all off of condemned because of their stupidity. Unfortunately in this life we shall never make the stupid or the evil go away. There’s a mix of good and bad as you know and we learn to survive it.

    1. Nah, I would guess not. I’ve never heard of a department allowing open carry in plain clothes (not that I can speak for all departments, I’ve just never heard of it). Officers by and large are aware of the disadvantages of open carry in plain clothes. I have also never heard an LEO firearm program being ok with open carry.

    2. That just reminded me of a sheriff I encountered in a Kinko’s years ago in Indiana. He was carrying two revolvers, at the 1 o’clock and 11 o’clock positions, and was fondling them nonstop. The old, mythical “wild west” trope, indeed.

  6. In Virginia handling your gun like that, even holstered, would be considered brandishing. Open carry is legal here, but I very rarely do it, and even then only on the farm or range.

  7. The constant chatter about the different products is hilarious. I don’t believe for a minute pretty much everything said in this piece. No self respecting gun owner would waste their time in a Williams of Sonoma when there are many far better establishments that aren’t full of hipsters, metros and yuppies.

    1. Geez, the author said he was with his girlfriend. Some guys like to do things with their girlfriends, if it makes them happy. That’s worked for me, for almost 38 years.

  8. If this motherfucker doesn’t end up on the news at some point, I’ll be surprised.

    Since open carry started last year in Texas, I’ve seen practically none of it here. Seeing a flamboyant asshole like this guy would be setting off alarms in my head from the start. If I saw him reach for his gun like that, I’d most assuredly have an adrenaline dump. My next thoughts would be cover/concealment, and if he actually did start to draw, if drawing on him is advisable.

    Creepy shit. Hair-raising. Maybe he was just touching his binky. Maybe it was one of those unconscious security motions. But hands on heaters is a no-no lest you want someone else to skin their smokewagon and extirpate your ass.

  9. Wonder what the odds are this was CJ Grisham. Was this Texas? Kinda looks like him from behind but hard to tell. Same hair and build. He’s a known open carry nutter and stolen valor guy. If you remember what he looks like, google for images and compare.

  10. Reminds me of a dude I saw here in GA once with an open carried Taurus and an “I’m your huckleberry” and skull T-shirt. That stretched over his gut a solid 1.5′ past his belt buckle.

  11. That guy is a problem, putting his hand on his gun was insane, he is lucky you did not shoot him. Nice caution on your part but he was bought and paid for.

  12. While I agree with you, the problem is who gets to decide who can and cannot have power/weapons/dangerous things.

    What he did is no different than someone intentionally cutting you off on the freeway. Is that good? No, but who decides what he’s allowed to have and do. You, me?

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